in a few months i will most likely be moving myself down to san jose for my graduate education in social work. it was not an easy decision. the past few weeks, i have just beginning to get a little taste of what it means to be truly walking by faith, trusting and waiting on God.
earlier this month (first week of april) i have recieved an acceptance letter from hawai’i. but i was not exactly….. too thrilled about going there for school. they required me to let them know my decision by may 1st. i was fine with it, no big deal. comes the 18th… no response. by then i was telling God, “God… i don’t think i can ‘go by faith’ and make the decision to go to hawai’i without hearing anything from the california schools.”
so i called on the 21st, and all the schools were like, “you are not going to know until the first / second week of may….” uhhh!! great. but i can still wait, God has given me a lot of patience. cause i know He was testing me. so i waited without complains. overtime, i was beginning to think that may be God really wanted me to go to hawai’i. the people around me were pretty excited to hear that i got accepted over there. there was a period of time when i was pretty set to go. then on friday afternoon (25th) ….. i got a voice message from san jose, saying that they accepted me.
great. now what? where am i called to go?? i really want to go where God wants me to go. but i really couldn’t decide. cause there was a period of time when i thought i was called to go to hawai’i. at the same time, i didn’t want to make a mistake on hearing God wrong. they called me friday afternoon. but i have to make a decision basically by thursday after that. essentially i got 3 days to decide. through those 3 days, i tried my hardest to hear from God. 3 days i haven’t heard anything from Him. i was like paul (or saul) who God blinded his sight for 3 days with scales. God just left me with tony’s message the night before. i had never chewed on what i got in a message. for. so. long. tony mentioned psalm 127:1 and self-identity… doing God’s will through who God had created us to be. only God’s decisions will stand… everything else would fall apart. it took me a while to figure out what He meant by that in my life, and with this decision of my life.
by that time i was frustrated with God through and through for not telling me where i should go. God doesn’t always give answers, He gives directions… and He gives them at His timing, as i’ve been told. as i was ranting and raving at God, He was like, “you need to change your attitude.” i was not the one waiting on God, He was waiting for me. so i needed to change my attitude…. waiting for His timing. even if it meant there was only one day left. long story short, on the third day (the night of the 29th), a friend helped me to make a pro/con list with the two schools. at first it was pretty even, it was basically my thoughts on paper that i could stare at some more. logically it would make more sense to go there. but after extracting it and looking at it closer… san jose began to align more with my life-long passion.
it finally became clear to me where i should go. after i’ve offically made my decision in my heart… i called my mom tonight. and she said ….. “your cousin, andrew, lives in san jose.” 0__o
